Current mood:

Clear Headed

I'd rather die like a man than live like a coward
3-22-08, CAPTAIN'S LOG, SITTING HERE PONDERING WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT...YET AGAIN, TRAVELING THROUGH SPACE, LET'S START HERE;
(WARNING, THIS ENTRY WILL HAVE LOTS OF YOUTUBE VIDEOS)

I guess one of the first things I remember was having Dani and my cousin, Chucky, crashing over on the same night. Turns out that Chucky and Dani are in the same class or some shit and had noticed one or thee others through myspaces and what not, and got to talking there and became friends through this little connection. It was a while back, but all I can recall is playing Castle Crashers with four players, them two, Tianna, and I. Cracking out on that and other video games. Oh, and Dani's weird powerball toy;

Next thing I recall, badass beach day. Basically, a week before, Chadd wanted to come and hang and detox from life by chillin' with me and T. We do what we do, we get high, Chadd gets drunk, we watch shit, play shit, and just good old chattin'. The same day, I got a phone call from my Uncle, Jason, and Alfredo as well, asking if I wanted to come out to the beach with them, a beach I haven't been to at all or in forever, somewhere on the northshore. Chadd said he was down, and Tianna was as well, so we woke up early the next day, took forever getting some fuckin' breakfast at jack in the box before driving out to meet the rest of the folk in some city I'm not familiar with. We all met up and shit, drove out to the spot on the beach, I recall it being very fucking windy and cold. Tianna and I swam a bunch, Chadd was mostly sketching and shit on the beach, I wanted that mofo to get into the water since I ain't never seen that shit, or him at all on a beach, haha. Also supervised my uncle's kids a bunch, and playing with them and etc, dug a huge hole for no reason at all which led to a great work out. My other Cousin Vincent, or Vincent Boy was also there with his lady, as well as my aunty along with my Uncle. It was pretty cool to have gliders and planes and shit flying low over us. A couple of times, I noticed my uncle chatting it up with Chadd and I'm just saying to myself; "Oh man, I hope he'll be alright." As in Chadd, haha, you'd just have to know my uncle to even understand what I'm talking about. He even ended up going on a beer/bathroom run alone with my uncle...how scary. I later found out that it was all good, Chadd was drunk off of his ass, said my uncle was real chill and cool/funny and shit, good. Alfredo and Vincent also went diving, I don't know nothin' about that shit or fishing or whatever, but I did score some pictures and a vid;





Met up with Alfredo on some Sunday to go and pick up some Ammo and to check out a different gun shop that I've never been to. We get there and OH, hello, they're closed on Sunday, for some reason that whole day, I thought it was Saturday, fucked up. Met Chadd some days later to pick up some Ammo for the oncoming hike, we got all the ammo and almost had everything set...we were just counting on the weather and shooting targets to come in that was ordered through ebay...which never came in time, so Tianna and I went the day before the hike to go get some targets which wasn't the best targets, but somethin', better than nothin'. Weeks later, the targets finally came in the mail, fucking idiots, but oh well, we can save them for the next hiking adventure. Also, about a week after this, my uncle asked me if I wanted to come with the usual's down to the beach where they had spread my grandpa's ashes, so we did just that for a little while. I also recall going to my sisters place one day to help set up her new computer and printer and shit...well she had some business to attend to, and I had to pick up Tianna, Jayden was staying at the house with me, so he ended up coming with on a nice long car ride with me, which has never been done before. Surprisingly, he was pretty good the whole way, we were just talking about whatever he wants to talk about, he's a video game freak, and still rotten to the bone, enjoyed one of Eminem's and Slipknot's songs a bit too much while in the car, he kept asking to play those songs again and asking me why they swear a lot in them, which he also enjoys--yeah, I know, haha, old photo of him.



Tianna's 21st b-day came and went. We went to the usual place, that infamous black angus cattle company. We both had filet mignon I believe, ya just can't beat that soft juicy piece of steak ass. Onion rangs, salads, those fancy dranks that I dig--or well, Tianna had some alcohol included drank instead, some kinda Tea somethin' like Long Island. Shit was superb--even better, when we were about to leave, the waitress comes out with some kinda specialty dessert and said she hadn't noticed that it was her birthday till paying. It was some kinda brownie topped with ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate shavings and sauce and all fancy looking and shit--shit was mad delicious, it oughta be on their menu. Filled the fuck up, bounced.
For some weeks or even a month now, I have been trying to secure a day to meet up with Kelly, or actually, after chatting some, introducing her to Tianna. So it finally happened on this same day, 'cept at night. We met up, introduced the two whom both didn't have any problem with one another, it was actually all pretty chill, we just all chatted about shit, both gals got tipsy some with some dranks, we all got high and just had a great time. Regardless that I was horny as shit and wanted a little double girl action, it wasn't gonna happen that night since Kelly had to be home by a certain time since working the next day, boo-hoo for me--but she was saying next time and etc, haha, joy;

I basically just stole this little paragraph from Chadd's journal, probably the most exciting thing I did in a while, the best shit;
Saturday
Gun day. Weeks before, Tom and I were starting to plan a shooting day. It was actually months, maybe a year in the making. But we finally made it happen. I invited B because the guy's gonna go to job corp soon and wanted to go out with a bang. I took that request kinda literally. Tom brought his cousin Alfredo and of course, his siamese twin Tianna. After stair-master climbing and getting stabbed by spikey plants of all species, we finally reached our quiet little shooting area. It was perfect. Beer, jokes, shoot, beer, jokes, shoot, shoot, shoot, more beer. It was great. And then it started to rain. We got lost in the mountains for a few minutes, but Fredo led us back to man-made roads. The board of water hooked us up with a faucet too. It was like destiny. Haha. I felt relieved and admittedly drunk. I remember saying it like 10 times that I never want to get wasted in the forest ever again. Things start to get fuzzy after that. I remember us walking down from the mountains like frickin' Mosses with the 10 commandments. Beat-up but satisfied. We accomplished something big that day... The car got popped while we were away. Fools took the stereo faceplate and some other non-important stuff. Then, the drive back. No tunes. I felt vomit brewing and a hang-over just around the bend. I wish that I could describe this day better, but, it'd take multiple paragraphs. Besides, it was more like one of those "you had to be there" sort of things...
Some Tom notes to go with that, the hike up was fucking brutal, I can't believe Alfredo and Chadd were carrying coolers which they swapped out with one another with Tianna and even B--AND Alfredo and Chadd were drinking beers while hiking up, hahaha. But it wasn't super bad because it was cloudy out and it was slightly drizzling from time to time. Target shooting was fucking awesome along with the adventure of being led through weeds and rocks and all of the sorts, note to self, don't forget the fucking machete next time. Incredible day, we spent hours on the hike, getting lost was fuckin' great even though I got a tad bit worried since hiking with inebriated fucks, haha. Chadd was pretty wasted as said, dude hardly even shot, haha. The hike back down was definitely grand, it rained some and shit, made it a lot more chill. I had also talked about this with Alfredo as well like a year in advanced, alongside Chadd, we finally got this shit done. We're all definitely planning to do this again sometime soon, maybe next month sometime, shits great exercise, I was sore all over for the next 3-4 days, feels great man. Regardless that the car was broken into via slimjim from the window--fucking faggots got useless items(which was easily replaced for like 50.00) cuz before we left the car, I always tell everyone to take all valuables with them, like I ain't know what city we're in;






Up next, I forgot what day this happened on, but I had bought the game Street Fighter IV. As much as it pisses me off with me cussing at the TV and calling out it's bullshits, it's a pretty good game with a back to the basics feel/simplicity to it. So because of that, I've been gaming from time to time with Wil, the capcom masta. I also swung by to his place on some day to drop off a bag of his shit that I had, a bunch old stuff that I'm sure brings back memories that he appreciates, not mentioning his college degree or any of that garbage, haha. Chilled at his place for a bit, just chatting about life and whatever else comes and goes, along with Tianna and Brandy--it was good to see them again though. I thought my room looked bad, but damn, Wil's place got mine beat with them controllers and wiring, versus my laptop weed bar.

Another short and sorta weird event, but worth mentioning. Tianna and I needed to use her birthday coupons for the cattle company, right? So I had this idea to invite Chadd to come with us cuz I know he fucking hates that sorta get up, but I'm saying that he could potentially dig this place because of the dark setting and big booths and shit, I mean, like I like that kinda things either--us ghetto folk. I thought he was gonna shoot it down on arrival, but surprisingly, he didn't...he questioned me about some sorta chocolate cake even, and he said he was sold by chocolate cake, the super ultra choco cake delux or whatever the fuck he called it, haha. Well I can't say what kind of a time he had, he said he felt a little out of placed--the waiter gave us a seat like right out in the open infront of the entrance, and I was like, yo, fuck this, let's move, so we did, just to ease any tensions and shit. Had an NY steak and Tianna with the filet mignon(AKA soft steak cuz I don't believe in that faggot name) and onion rangs, Chadd got some kinda fried shrimp thing--all in all, I thought everything was good and I hope Chadd liked it too. Updates on Chadd's situation, he eventually got lucky and found a good place to live at, he even had extended time at his current place, and got lots of help to move and all of that from some family which surprised him, so everything worked out good on his end, glad to hear that despite a couple of bad luck REAL LIFE stories to do with 'em that I won't mention since it's his own personal shit.

Down there at the pawn shop, it's a nifty way to shop.
Down there at the pawn shop, if it's not in stone.
Down there at the pawn shop, at no end, no way to shop.
Down there at the pawn shop.
What has been told, albino made in stone, just remember that it's flesh and bone.
So, why I'm down here at the pawn shop.
Down here at the pawn shop, down here at the pawn shop, down here at the pawn shop.
What has been sold, not strictly made of stone, just remember that it's flesh and bone.
And I have heard, like dike-a-bird, yeah, but just remember that it's flesh and bone.
so why I'm down here at the pawn shop..down here at the pawn shop
What has been sold, not strictly sold, please remember that it's flesh and bone.
-Sublime/Pawn Shop

What next, a trip down to the northshore side to have those lovely shaved ice from Matsumoto Shaved Ice. I don't even remember when I had one of those things since I was probably a kid, but Tianna and I had planned to go have some of that shit some time and we finally got it done on some lazy day. I had uhhh, stawberry/pineapple/vanilla with icecream under it, shit was mad delicious, Tianna had Fruit Punch, Stawberry, and Vanilla, also with ice cream, she didn't like the fruit punch part though. So we joked about going again the next day to try some new flavors and well, the joke became a reality when we were both bored the next day, so once again, we drove all the way out there to go have some. When we got there, fucking Saturday, the line was huge, there was no parking or anything, I was disgusted and didn't even wanna have one anymore and was driving away angrily...and then I turned around cuz I was pissed that I drove that far for nothin'. Found a parking in a no parking zone, fuck it, stood in line for like a half hour or so, got Li Hing Mui & Lemon, Tianna got the same but also with Cherry, fuckin' dope shit. Did I mention my addiction for starbucks lately anywhere in this entry while I'm on these little fuckin' snacks? I don't particularly like coffee, but I've discovered mocha frappuccino's which I fuckin' adore for god knows what reason.


This big space is reserved for PHIL with a bunch of shit that I won't talk about, you the man motherfucker, hope everything goes over smoothly.






I made and hosted my first torrent ever as well, well, I didn't make it, I just took the time to download them all individually. Basically it's this book that was made about 10 years ago, called Xenogears: Perfect Works, basically the Xenogears(Playstation Video Game, my #1 video game of all time) Bible, all in Japanese. Someone I randomly found on the net was almost completed with translating the entire thing into English directly onto the scanned pages. So I got in contact with the dude and told him what I wanted to do, bunch 'em all up and put them in one big file to download, he gave me the OK, I set everything up and hosted it for days, got a lot of downloads from it, still going, the torrent file can be found here;

(Mininova)
(http://www.mininova.org/tor/2379460)
(PirateBay)
(http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4772263)


Most recent, well, I've had a bad sore throat for more than a week and have been sober since a couple of days ago, I got over it and am back on my feet I guess, I hope. Also to note, Tianna has started her laser permanent hair removal process, she claims that it hurts like a bitch, would rather be inked, but she has a few more appointments or some shit, sucks to be her, haha.


Ugh, I'm sickened to even be writing about this part but I keep shit real so I will definitely talk about it here. This little story will be about Chloe, yeah, if you've read my shit, you'll know who this is, that little asian girl. For more than a month, or closely to even two months, she'd IM me, text me, call me, email me, all of which I would never respond to cuz I was either not there or just was like BLAH to the random sporadic shit that she spews. It was pretty annoying of her hitting me up on almost the daily about random whatever and my never responding...kinda creepy at that. So basically I finally let it out and told her she was annoying on a forums that I go to often, and one where she has recently gone to and just annoys everyone in a fashion that everyone refers to as a 'troll'. I basically told her that I thought she was annoying and I didn't wanna be her friend anymore or anything like that, I didn't talk any shit or anything like that, very civil about it. Of course her little bruised ego couldn't handle it and was saying she wanted her toothbrush and shirt back from me of which I don't even know what she's talking about cuz I hadn't noticed any of her shit here, I was just thinking she wanted a reason to see me again or some crap. I don't know when exactly was it that we last hung out, but it was with Tianna on some random late night where she practically begged me to pick her up cuz she didn't have anywhere else to go--and I was just being kind and did so since she was practically homeless due to family drama. She stayed over for a couple of nights and I was like, yeah, I got shit to do now, ya gotta go, I gotta try to get some work done and I can't do it with you around, I just don't generally like hanging out with people for pro-longed periods of times, while she uses my computer, my big TV, eats up the food, leaves messes in her drugged up state of mind with constant random rambling.

Anyway, from this point on, on that very same forum, she's making open threats about how she's going to egg my house...like some sorta pre-teen revenge, and later on, she'd email or text me the same about egging my house, or insinuating that it won't be her, but it'll be someone else paying me a visit, as if some faggot friends of hers, or some crap, I don't even know, she just started to straight up stalk me with taunts. The only place I ever replied to her was on this forum, ANYWHERE else, I NEVER replied to her, in fact, on this forum, I just started making a stalker log and just started taking screen shots from my phone and or computer from my email about how whack this chick was. Even more to my surprise, this other cat who owns that forum, YTCracker, showed me a screen shot of how much she emails HIM. And there's frickin' hundreds of emails, tons of repeated BS, all talking about me, how she's gonna kill me, or call the cops on me, if I believe in God, I'll be behind bars soon, or claim rape to get me arrested, all sorts of crazy fuckin' shit. But so far, that's all it has been, TALK, no action. It's pretty hilarious and annoying altogether, like, wow, just get over it, I mean, don't you have more important shit to worry about? Get your life together. YTCracker told me that he only reads or responds to her shit if he's smashed, but for the most part, he doesn't. She has some kinda stalker intent idolization for YTCracker since NERD LIFE, but wow, I had to apologize to him myself cuz he was getting it way more bad than I was...let alone whoever else, jesus. I'll keep saying bring it though, like I'm supposed to be afraid--this chick don't even know the half of what I been through or the cats I know, and she must wonder why I find her problems to be simplistic and childish. Bring it anyway ya want to, online? No problem. Wanna call the cops on me and take it the legal way? No problem, I got a fuck ton of evidence and witnesses/alibis. Wanna try shit off the records? Bring it, call anyone, I don't give a fuck, DO ANYTHING REAL and just stop runnin' your crazy little mouth, wannabe lunatic. Crazy, psychotic, insane, psh, I know people who fit those words FOR REAL, not just delusional mindfucks. I've not heard from her in a few days, but I doubt it's over yet, I hope it is though.

Here's the thread where you can see how everything went down, including all sorts of screen shots and what not;
(http://digitalgangster.com/4um/showthread.php?t=85007)



Fake, fake records, records, records.
It's bigger than hip hop, hip hop, hip hop, hip, it's bigger than hip hop, hip hop, hip hop, hip hop.

One thing 'bout music, when they hit, you feel no pain. White folks says it controls your brain, I know better than that, that's game and we ready for that. Two soldiers, head of the pack, matter of fact, who got the gat, and where my army at, rather attack than not react. Back the beats, it don't reflect on how many records get sold on sex, drugs, and rock and roll whether your project's put on hold. In the real world, these just people with ideas, they just like me and you when the smoke and camera disappear. Again, the real world, it's bigger than all these fake ass records. When poor folks got the millions and my woman's disrespected. If you check 1,2, my word of advice to you is just relax. Just do what you got to do, if that don't work then kick the facts. If you a fighter, rider, lighter, flame ignitor, crowd exciter or you wanna just get high, then just say it. But then if you a liar liar, pants on fire, wolf cry, agent with a wire, I'm gon' know it when I play it. It's bigger than

Who shot Biggie Smalls, if we don't get them, they gon' get us all. I'm down for runnin' up on them crackers in they city hall. We ride for yall, all my dogs stay real, nigga don't think these record deals gonna feed your seeds and pay your bills because they not. MC's get a little bit of love and think they hot, talkin' 'bout how much money they got, nigga, all yall records sound the same. I'm sick of that fake thug, R&B Rap scenario all day on the radio, same scenes in the video, monotonous material. Yall don't hear me though, these record labels slang our tapes like dope. You can be next in line and signed and still be writing rhymes and broke. You would rather have a Lexus or Justice, a Dream or some Substance, a Beamer, a Necklace or Freedom. Still a nigga like me don't playa' hate, I just stay awake, this real hip hop, and it don't stop till we get the po po off the block. They call it

DP's got that crazy shit, we keep it crunk up, John Blaze'd and shit, 1, 2, 1, 2.
They call it; Fake, fake, fake records, records, records.

-Dead Prez/Hip Hop